Rude behavior and lack of respect among children especially those who are about to get into their teen years has become very common in the recent past. From school to public places and even at home, children no longer have any respect for their elders including their parents. As such, when you find that your 11 year old is becoming rude to you, you should be concerned and take action before the behavior gets out of hand. Here is what you can do:
Don’t make it personal
When your daughter becomes disrespectful to you and can hardly go for a day without talking back to you, try not to take it personally. This ill behavior has not come about because you are a bad parent but it’s all about her individuating and feeling the need to be resistive. When you take it personally, her ill-mannered actions will hurt you very much and cause you much anger. If she is being sassy when talking to you and is pushing boundaries between you and her, you can impose any consequence you deem fit and appropriate.
Never ignore disrespectful behavior from your daughter
When your daughter answers you back or does something that portrays that she is not respectful to you, do not let it pass. Reprimand her right away as ignoring her behavior will only encourage her to become more disrespectful to you. When you do not assume her ill behaviors, you give her a clear warning that her actions are not acceptable and she needs to change for the better. Even when she walks from you while you are talking, make sure that after she cools down, you will sit her down and give her a piece of your mind.
Be cautious of what you say when with her
Sometimes, children become disrespectful and rude to their parents because of the things they hear them say while at home. For instance, you should never bad mouth your boss, a friend or another family member in your child’s presence. Kids enumerate their parents as role models and if she hears you bad mouthing other people or answering back when talked to, he/she may presume that such behavior is right.
Never support any disrespectful comments she makes about other people
When your daughter is always complaining that her teacher gives too much homework or is teaching wrongly and you support her, this may show her that it is right to be rude to people doing something wrong. However, respect is neutral and should not be dependent on any factor; whether the other person is right or wrong. If you do not agree with someone’s way of doing things, you need not be rude to them. This is why you should teach your daughter that she has to respect other people even when she differs with them.
Tell what is right and wrong about respecting other people
Parents often expect their children to know what is right and wrong about respecting other people, without teaching them. Have a talking session with your daughter and define respect to her as well as the ways that she can express respect to other people. In addition to this, you also need to insist on the right attitude and tone to use while conversing and interacting with other people.
Teach her healthy problem-solving skills
If your daughter is using disrespectful behavior and actions to express her anger and frustration, you should teach her healthy problem solving skills. Teach her the kind of words and expressions to use when she feels angry and frustrated at something done to her by another person. As a parent, you need to model your daughter on how to treat other people with respect and be responsibility for her emotions and behavior.
Be the parent not her friend or peer
You should never let your daughter see you as her peer or equal friend as this will undermine the respect she has for you as her parent. Even as you try to be closer to your daughter to monitor her behavior, you should do so carefully to avoid her thinking that you are a friend that she can talk to or treat as she wishes. As her parent, you are responsible for her upbringing, including how she treats other people or behaves when interacting with other people.
Enforce appropriate consequences and punishment
There are some girls who can only learn to be respectful to others through consequences and punishment. If have such a daughter, you should come up with the best form of punishment with severe consequences. This may include withdrawing privileges such as pocket money, access to gadgets like phones or video games, grounding her, and sending her to live in the countryside to live with your parents. The best thing about punishment and consequences is that they can have a daunting effect on your daughter such that she decides to change her behavior to avoid additional punishment.
Be cautious of the friends and company she has
While there is very little that you can do to control what your daughter shares with her friends and peers, you can access the type of influence they have on your daughter. If her friends are fond of listening to disrespectful movies or are into drug and substance abuse, she is most likely bound to be disrespectful to other people. Make sure you share your opinions on the kind of company your daughter has well as outline the influence they have on her behavior. You can talk her out of that company by providing her with alternative ways of finding friends with constructive influence in her life.
When you do not correct disrespectful behavior in your daughter when she is 11, she may become rude and very disrespectful to other people for the rest of her life. Some of the bad habits and behaviors that children adopt become very hard to quit as their age advances. This is why you need to get tough and insist on her changing her disrespectful actions before they spiral out of control.