The early realization of the fact that parents need to play a more central role in a child’s anger management is one way that can help a lot when aiming to solve children’s anger problems. Here are some proven tips on how to teach your child to control anger.
1. Understand your child
Learning the signs of your child’s body language before they become enraged is vital. Ideally, when you see signs of anger manifesting, sit them down to make them aware of the cues and signs and eventually they will be able to master the cues leading to the eruption of anger. It is always best being proactive than reactive. It saves your child from many negative things that anger could lead to.
2. Acknowledge their feelings
Acknowledging what your child feels without judging or being scolded, will show them that getting angry along with other emotions is just normal, whether it may be pleasant or unpleasant. This will, in turn, allow them to become more open to discussions which will help them learn about what to do to control or overcome it.
3. Take a time-out
Another technique you can employ to teach your child how to calm down when they feel like they are becoming irritated or annoyed is to ask them to use their time-out coping skills. Make sure that you have established a designated time-out spot before giving your child a time out. The time-out space can be the bedroom, a corner that the child has decorated or just another room that is away from everyone else.
You should ensure that your child realizes that the reason why they are taking a time-out is just to allow them enough time to calm down and return to a relaxed state. After your child has been in time-out for about ten to fifteen minutes, you should sit down and discuss with your child about how they are feeling and you should praise them for using their time-out coping skills.
4. Be a good role model
Showing your child the proper way when handling anger is one of the best ideas that you can give to your children on how to react with anger. Showing them that you acknowledge, accept, and being responsible for your angry feelings and expressing it in positive and non-aggressive ways helps children to personally develop their skills on how to properly manage their anger by looking up to you as a role model.
5. Encourage your child to talk about their experiences with anger
There are a lot of things that may cause a child’s anger. To have an idea of what makes your child angry, you need to spare even just a little time once in a while to sit down and have a talk with your child. Ask them what situations make them angry and what they do when they are. Always remember to listen to what they have to say and guide them on what to do without judging, evaluating or making them feel uncomfortable. This will serve as a good source of information for you to come up with the proper solutions for the problem.
6. Have a journal
Writing is a fantastic way that you can get your child to release their anger and return and calm down. When you notice that your child is showing signs of becoming irritated, you should suggest that they use their writing coping skills. After your child finishes writing, it is going to be important that you sit down with them and allow them to read what it is that they wrote. You should listen without interrupting your child, and you should praise them for using their writing coping skills to calm down.
7. Teach them simple anger management techniques
There are a lot of simple anger management techniques nowadays that can help your child deal with anger. Some of these simple techniques are by counting and deep breathing, which helps children to put their anger under control. Deep breathing helps to relax a person’s mind and body. Encourage them to use these techniques whenever they feel like getting rowdy or on the verge of having a tantrum.
8. Allow your child to have some time alone when angry
When your child is enraged, it is sometimes wise to leave them alone until they settle down. Never try to confront your child when he or she is angry as this will only escalate the problem. That said, sending them to their room until they calm down can often work well. The rationale here is that at times if you confront your child when he or she is angry, it may provoke counter behavior in your child. As a result, the child will develop vices such as being rude or rebellious.
9. Clear unresolved issues
Pinpointing and addressing pending issues of anger, bitterness, and resentment is crucial when assessing and starting the journey towards healing your relationship with your child.
10. Professional assistance
Finally, if you cannot recognize anger problems in your child or the anger issues are getting out of control, find professional assistance as soon as possible. In some cases, a third party can help by providing suggestions and guidelines to guide your family to handle anger problems better.
As parents, it is within your greater responsibility to do anything and everything that you can in helping your child manage anger. By teaching your child how to deal with their anger appropriately, they will be able to avoid all of the problems that it can cause later on.
Because of a child’s impaired ability to understand and manage their emotions, they are at a disadvantage and risk when dealing with anger that leads them to show the more damaging side which is rage, and aggression through tantrums that later gets them into fights. For those parents who are having problems controlling their children’s anger, immediate action and concern should be done to prevent your children from growing up with the behavior.
Pro tip: I highly recommend playing baseball as a great way to let your child calm down when he feels his anger. And here is a nice list of health benefits when your child chooses baseball as his favorite sport.