It is common to lose patience with your baby especially when he repeatedly does something annoying like being grabby being put in the stroller.
When you lose your cool and yell at the baby, you will feel horrible and regretful of what you have done.
Here are a few ideas on what you should do after you have yelled at the baby.
(See more practical parenting advice here)
Take a deep breathe
When you are angry, your body is usually not relaxed due to the tension that builds up after yelling at the baby.
As such, it is important to take a deep breath to allow the body to relax. Breathing has a calming effect on the body. Several deep breaths will help to get your muscles, body, and brain back on track thereby helping you return to your normal state.
You should not utter a single or even attempt doing anything until you have had at least 4 deep and well-founded breaths.
Don’t shift blame
Despite whatever your baby may have done to trigger your reaction, it is important that you should not shift the blame to the baby.
This will only make the situation worse and prevent you from being able to apologize for your overreaction. The important thing to do after yelling at your baby is taking the blame and accepting responsibility for your action.
Your baby may not have known that you will yell at him/her because of his actions unless you are used to yelling at him. While apologizing, you can say something like “I’m sorry for not controlling my anger”.
You should not add anything else like, “But you shouldn’t have done what you did”. Focus only on yourself but do not blame the baby.
Take a walk
The guilt that comes about after yelling at your baby can be heart wrenching.
Therefore, for you to feel relieved of the guilt and shame of your actions, you should take a little walk to clear your mind.
It would be best not tag along the baby for the walk unless you feel capable of returning to your normal state with the baby still around you.
Most parents find it hard to even look at their babies after yelling at them and as such need to spend a few moments away from the baby.
But make sure you still keep an eye on your baby with the latest baby products.
Accept that you need to change
Majority of parents are often in denial after yelling at their babies.
However, denial does not help in improving the situation at all as you need to accept that your behavior towards the baby is inappropriate. This will make it easy for you to prevent yelling at the baby again in future and embracing other friendly and acceptable ways of expressing your anger.
Parents also have emotions and feel agitated by their baby’s actions time to time.
When this happens, you need to learn how to pull away from the confrontation instead of satisfying the urge to yell.
Move on from the confrontation
When you yell at your baby, you need to avoid focusing on the confrontation too much.
This is self destructive and will only make you feel more sorry and disappointed in yourself. Instead, you need to pick yourself up and be optimistic that you will not make the mistake again.
Once you have moved on from the confrontation, it becomes easy for both you and the baby to forget the whole situation and be at peace with each other.
Shower the baby with love and affection
One of the best ways of feeling better after you have yelled at the baby is by showering the baby with love and affection.
For instance, if the baby loves to be swayed, swindled or taken for a drive, you can do any of these activities to see the baby happy and jovial again.
A baby’s happiness will go a long way in enabling you to recover from the guilt of yelling at the baby. Sometimes, the pain of seeing your baby sad or crying because you yelled at her can be too much for any parent.
This is why you need to ensure that the baby is back to his/her jovial and happy state as soon as possible.
Remember all the times you have been a good parent
Even though you have a fair share of shortcomings for yelling at the baby, you should not how you have continuously taken care of the baby through thick and thin.
This should help you feel proud for being a good parent and have always taken care of the baby in the best way you can. One day’s mistake should not make you forget the good side you have as far as taking care of your baby is concerned.
However, it is important to ensure that you do not get used to being verbally abusive to the baby because you think you are a good parent and does more good than harm to the baby.
Mend the relationship
If you said hurtful words or punished the baby harshly, she may feel disconnected from you and the cordial relationship that both of you share may be ruined.
When this is the case, it is advisable that you work on repairing and fixing the relationship before the damage becomes too much.
You need to temporarily take a break from addressing the issue at hand and focus on how to be close to your baby again. Once the relationship has been mended and is now cordial again, you can address the triggers that led to the baby angering you such that you yelled at him/her.
The best way of approaching such a situation is by cautioning him/her not to repeat what they did again.
Proper and healthy parenting requires great strength to be able to handle your emotions even when you feel excessively offended by the baby and want to just let go.
Always remember that your baby looks up to for everything including moral support, advice, and direction in life. Therefore you need to carry and handle yourself responsibly when you are with your baby.
Set a good example for him/her to follow in his life as they grow up and become people of purpose.