Teenage life can be very tough for some children and can lead to inappropriate behavior such as extreme anger and a lack of respect for other people.
As a parent, it is quite normal to notice that your teenage son is mad at you even for no reason at all. Even as you wait for him to transition into adulthood and probably change his behaviors, it is important to know what to do when your teenage son is angry at you.
1. Always be calm
Obviously, it is hurting and emotionally wrecking to see your sweet teenage son become mad at you most of the time.
Mostly, teenage boys have no idea of the emotional torment and anguish they put their parents through when they are angry at the parents. Avoid reacting at him when you are emotionally hurt as this will escalate the situation thereby making it worse than already is.
When your teenage son is mad at you, he is seeking your attention but in a negative and disrespectful way.
2. Understand that it is a passing phase
Teenage life for boys can be very chaotic as it is the stage in which teenagers try to find direction in life.
It is when teenagers strategize what they want to be in their future including the careers they want to pursue. You should try to help your son make the right decisions by being helpful to him through guidance and counseling.
3. Don’t lose focus as a parent
Being a parent requires great patience and commitment to your parental goals at all times.
Your role in your teen’s life is helping him stabilize his life by teaching him healthy ways of managing anger and effective problem-solving approaches. You need to teach your teenage son better ways of addressing their problems without being mad at you or any other person they think has wronged them.
Not all lessons in parenting require consequences, as you can use your son’s anger towards you as an opportunity to teach him how to embrace the changes his life may be going through.
4. Don’t be too quick to judge him
Your son may be angry for nothing.
In some instances, he may be right in being mad at you and as such, it is important that you should not be too quick to be conclusive of him being mad at you. You need to understand that it is normal for everyone to feel mad at other people at different times.
However, if your son is mad at you for a long time stretching into a few weeks or months, you have enough reason to worry. As much as he is mad at you, you need to ensure that he expresses his anger in a way that does not risk other people’s lives.
For instance, if he breaks objects when mad at you, you should address such behavior within the earliest possible instance.
5. Don’t cease to be his parent
Being a parent does not require you to be your son’s best friend and confidant.
Parenting requires you to make the right decisions for your son despite the cost you have to pay for those decisions.
More often than not, teenagers do things out of peer pressure and influence from their friends. You should ensure that you are always of what is going on in your son’s life even when he spends much of his time away from home.
This is because teenagers start bad behaviors like alcohol consumption and drug use during this stage. The only way to keep him off such behaviors is by ensuring that you are aware of what he is up to in his life.
6. Put a limit to his disrespectfulness
While it is right to understand your son’s anger towards you, you need to ensure that the disrespect does not go too far.
Even though it is okay for him to be mad at you for some time, this madness and anger should not continue for too long as it can develop into hate.
At a point when your teenage son hates you, there’s not much you can do to repair your relationship with him.
You should be assertive when responding to him after he tells you something like “I hate you”. Allowing such statements to pass may show that you are weak and may not portray a good image of yourself to your son.
7. Give your son the structure he requires in his life
Since your teenage son is young, he most likely unaware of how the world operates including the importance to handle himself responsibly.
As such, you need to provide your son with the structure and setting he requires to reach full potential in his life.
The world we live in is full of dangers, hazards, and threats to progress and success in life. It is, therefore, necessary to focus beyond the current ego issues he is having with you and make plans for him on how he will find success in his life.
8. Let him be
Don’t reprimand for being mad and angry at you. Telling your son not to get angry whenever he feels justified to do so, can be quite destructive in the long run. People use anger and being mad at others to let go of hurtful emotions.
Therefore, if you prevent him from getting angry, these hurtful emotions are likely to build up and consequently feel guilty of being incapable of accepting how he feels.
The most important aspect that you need to teach your son is to understand the appropriate and right ways of expressing his anger. Emotions play an important role in shaping a person’s personality and attitude in life. If he does not learn how to accept himself and his emotions, it is quite possible for him to become a loner in life.
If you do everything in your power to restore love and good relations between you and your son, it may be necessary for you to seek professional intervention. You can take him for counseling sessions and enroll him in anger management programs.